I would like to start off by thanking the two most important people in my life: God and lesbians. And yes, these seem to be total opposites to most people, but then again, I’ve lived my life as an enormous mess of juxtapositions. I’m not planning on stopping now.

Living in the 21st century at Texas A&M makes my head want to explode. I wake up in my apartment in the bar district that’s next to one of the largest Catholic churches in central Texas. Then I check my email, where someone is calling me a slur for writing an article about science. Or politics. Or maybe even just because they want to. 

Despite the overwhelming negative attitude of the average A&M student, I’ve never felt the need to justify my existence or my interests to my friends at The Battalion. 

To our fantastic editor team: You will always remain my huckleberry, the conclave to my papacy and the Sue to my Elizabeth Sparkle. One day, when the Memorial Student Center’s Wednesday night cleaners wipe my Monstro Elisasue body off the sidewalk, we will be reunited. 

This is a threat.

For the news desk, which I lovingly rebuilt from scratch after terrible management: Buckle up losers, I’m not here to hold your hands anymore. You’re much stronger than you believe, and if you want to succeed, you will do it. Just … please try.

I know that we’ve covered some nationally acknowledged news during my time at The Batt, but I wish I had four more years here. I can only imagine the changes and the people who will come through campus as we watch history being made. It may be painful, and the backlash to whatever you write may make you want to give up.

But I want to encourage everyone who has a human soul to continue to create. I applied to write for an award-winning collegiate newspaper because some freak wrote about Texas-shaped waffle irons. 

I’m a biology major going to Tulane to study tropical medicine. You’d think I wouldn’t fit in a newsroom.

You would be right. I don’t fit in just any newsroom, but in The Batt’s dark, crowded and unusually productive basement hellhole of an office, I fit in perfectly fine. ⭐The Battalion Pick⭐The Battalion Pick⭐The Battalion Pick⭐The Battalion Pick⭐The Battalion Pick⭐The Battalion Pick⭐The Battalion Pick ⭐The Battalion Pick ⭐The Battalion Pick