Graduation should — theoretically — be a time of excitement, of starting down a new path. You’ve spent four years honing your craft, so you should have an idea of what your future will look like and some confidence that you have the skills to get you where you want to be, right? 

Well, I have to admit, with only one week left of college, I’ve never had worse imposter syndrome in my life.

I’ve always loved politics and always knew that my career would somehow involve contributing to the greater good, but my love for journalism is still in its honeymoon phase. Being a news reporter was never on my radar until about two years ago, when my professor for a composition class encouraged me to pursue writing. 

It was news to me that I might be a good writer, and I knew I didn’t want to be a novelist or anything of the sort. So once I got to thinking about how to incorporate my passion for politics with writing, journalism was a no-brainer. 

When I transferred into Texas A&M my junior year, I was intimidated by The Battalion. I told myself that I needed more writing experience first, that I needed to be better before I could even apply. So I spent my junior year writing for Her Campus, an online magazine, and eventually moved up to the senior editor position. Though my work with Her Campus was not necessarily journalistic, it gave me some confidence in my skills, my ability to learn quickly and my eagerness to continue improving. 

Fall of my senior year, I finally worked up the courage to join The Battalion’s news desk. Immediately, I knew this was what I wanted to do with my life. I have never taken a journalism class, so this publication has taught me everything I know. 

I’m sure my first few stories weren’t great. I was riddled with anxiety every time I had to do an interview and I had never really written in AP style, so I had a lot to learn. But my editors supported and encouraged me and gave me the confidence to become an editor myself this spring.

I still have doubts. Being a writer for my campus’ newspaper is one thing, but being a “good” writer in the real world, up against all the other journalists who have been reporting for years, is a title I’m not sure I hold. The Battalion has been an amazing opportunity to grow as a writer and I do believe I’ve made vast improvements in my short time here, but will it be enough? 

I currently don’t have a job lined up and no plans for grad school, so my future looks very uncertain right now. With each passing day without a plan, I grow more insecure. I know my resume might pale in comparison to other recent graduates who had time to get amazing internships and work for multiple publications during their undergrad, and I’m kicking myself for not deciding on journalism sooner. 

But at the same time, I didn’t know what I didn’t know. Until last year, I didn’t know I wanted to pursue news, I didn’t know I had what it took to be an editor and, truth be told, I still don’t know if I will be able to break into the industry. 

But what I do know is that The Battalion will have been instrumental in my life no matter where I end up. 

My fleeting time here has given me so much. I’ve learned a tremendous amount about news and writing, I’ve made amazing connections with my co-editors and beyond and I’ve been pushed to do things I didn’t feel ready for. Being a part of The Battalion made me live outside my comfort zone; it pushed me to stop thinking about how unqualified I might be and to just start doing. 

I will forever be grateful for the opportunity this publication has given me, and I won’t forget the people who helped me along the way.  Even if I don’t end up exactly where I want to be, I know I’ll end up where I’m meant to be. And wherever that is, I hope I am lucky enough to have people around me that are even half as great as those I have spent the past year with. 

So, to The Battalion: I owe it all to you, and I can’t thank you enough.