I wish someone would’ve told me that my 20s would be the most confusing time of my life.
When I was a kid, I naively thought I would have my life figured out by, maximum, 21. I’d have a house and car by 23 and a husband and babies by 25. However, as my 22 birthday is less than a week away, I realize I still don’t have a Clue.
That is totally OK.
As I look around at my friends and peers, I see drastically different life stages. One of my friends is engaged, one is having a baby, another is still a big baby and me — I spend my evenings with my cat, tuning in to yet another rewatch of all 11 seasons of “The Walking Dead,” and boy do I love my life.
The differences between my friends’ lives and my own sometimes Scrabble my Cranium.
But we 20-something-year-olds need to remember that we are all moving through life at different paces, and that is OK.
I may not be ready to have babies and get married, but some people are. My married friends probably can’t fathom my desire to stay home and veg with my cat each weekend. We have different views of what an ideal lifestyle is for our age.
But your achievements and social accolades — or lack thereof — in the life department do not define you.
Don’t Trouble yourself over your non-existent boyfriend or all-too-real wedding. We’re still so young, and there is plenty of time to meet your “you’ll never Guess Who’s” and say yes to your forever “I do’s.”
There is this haunting idea that plagues all 20-year-olds. On one end, it’s “settle down now or you’re falling behind. You won’t be able to have babies forever!” On the other end, it’s “you’re only 21, and you’re getting married? You’re going too fast!” But like I said, it’s just an idea, a concept — a figment, if you will.
Life isn’t like your ENGL 104 class. There isn’t a strict rubric or timeline you have to stick to to be “accomplished.”
Trying to keep up with the life-curve of others is a Trivial Pursuit. It’s a waste of precious time and energy to worry about what others are doing that you aren’t. Who cares if you’re single if you don’t? Who cares that you still live with your parents if you don’t? No one. That’s who.
On the other end, who cares if you’re married and have your first kid at 20? Great, all of your son’s friends will be in love with you. Who cares if you bought your first house before the housing crisis? Lucky you, girlfriend!
Everyone else is too busy worrying about their own life to bother judging and making assumptions about yours.
Just go at your own pace, and be satisfied with it. You absolutely cannot compare yourself to your friends’ situations. It’s like comparing Apples to Apples, you know? Oh, Sorry, I meant apples to oranges.
Because, surprise, not a single one of us is playing the same game.
While my friend is playing Operation, I’m playing Uno. While you’re playing Monopoly, your roommate is playing Yahtzee.
How can you say you’re falling behind or going too fast if we’re all reading different instructions?
Now I’ll admit, I’ve spent time worrying if it was Taboo that I wasn’t in the Phase 10 of my life that my friends were in, but then I remembered my definition of winning is different than yours.
Your definition of Perfection is different from mine. That’s OK.
So, don’t be hard on yourself if you’re in a different life stage than all your peers because this age bracket is extremely confusing and different for everyone. It’s almost as confusing as reading the instructions for the new board game.
Enjoy The Game of Life and all of the twists and turns fate has in store for you. If you focus on reaching your own personal definition of success and playing your own game, I guarantee you Catan and will come out of your twenties as a winner.
Maddie McMurrough is an agricultural communications and journalism senior and opinion columnist for The Battalion.
