Rating: 4/10

Horror comedies aren’t my thing. 

I love horror movies and comedies — separately. Both genres have an ever-growing love in my heart. But put both of them together, and I always find myself having a less-than-fun time, questioning the ethics of shooting or blowing someone up for comedic relief. 

But, when I heard Osgood Perkins, director of one of my favorite horror movies of 2024, “Longlegs,” was coming out with a new horror-comedy starring Theo James, Tatiana Maslany and Elijah Wood, I was hooked. 

And yet, I’m sad to say that my extreme dislike of horror comedies has remained, even after watching “The Monkey.”

The film is centered around Hal, a down-and-out kid who finds a toy wind-up monkey amongst his dad’s belongings with his much more confident twin brother, Billy. They don’t know what powers this monkey has, and they face its consequences throughout their childhood. 

Fast forward 25 years, and Hal is still down and out. He’s scared of the powers that the wind-up monkey might have on him, so he keeps away from his child. When another accident happens, Hal suspects that it might be the actions of the monkey, and he sets out to do what he can to stop it from doing more damage. 

Here’s the cold, harsh truth: I didn’t find this film funny. I didn’t even laugh once. 

Maybe my expectations were something else, but I wasn’t anticipating this much comedy and for it to be so unfunny. It genuinely feels like a seventh grader who took inspiration from playing with his action figures wrote the jokes. Should we really accept such a low standard of comedy? 

It was to a point where a character would make a joke and I would literally curl up into a ball and squirm from cringe. I don’t want to do that when I’m watching a movie. 

The horror was fun, though. I enjoyed about 50% of the kills, which is a high percentage compared to other films; but there’s no movie with a 100% kill-enjoyment rate. The horrific parts of the film play out pretty well, until it’s canceled out by some unnecessary joke. Again, it doesn’t make sense and this dissociates you from the film. 

For the most part, the acting was acceptable. James, who plays Hal and Bill, does great in his dual role. Maslany and Wood are also good at nailing their roles. Acting in horror films is so difficult and goes unrecognized, but it deserves all the praise.  

I also have to compliment the runtime. As films feel like they’re getting longer every single year, there is an art in keeping it concise. Standing at an hour and 38 minutes, The Monkey does exactly this. 

But honestly, it could’ve still used a couple more minutes. 

This movie doesn’t have anything to say; there’s no message. Each character is incredibly stagnant, and by the end of the film, you’re sitting in your seat thinking about what to get for dinner instead of what you just watched. It just felt like a waste of time and a poor use of $10 — money you could’ve put toward that dinner you’re thinking about now. 

I came into this expecting a vibe like Longlegs: cold, brutal and horrific. I was genuinely scared watching that film and I had nightmares about it throughout the next few days. 

This film relies more on its comedic relief to tell its story. Someone getting blown up from jumping into an electric pool of water shouldn’t be funny, but Perkins makes the claim for it. There’s a time and place for comedy, and this wasn’t it.  

Now, maybe horror comedies are your thing. In that case, this might be the perfect movie for you. But to have a horror-comedy, you must excel at both genres, which this film fails to do. 

This belongs in one genre and one genre only: cringe. 

Joshua Abraham is a kinesiology junior and opinion writer for The Battalion.