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The Student News Site of Texas A&M University - College Station

The Battalion

The Student News Site of Texas A&M University - College Station

The Battalion

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Bettye B

%26%23160%3BEmotional+Limbo%3A+On+being+the+bigger+person+after+a+breakup.
Graphic by Megan Williams & Pranay Dhoopar

 Emotional Limbo: On being the bigger person after a breakup.

Editor’s Note:  The pseudonym “Bettye” is used in this column to allow students to write candidly about topics of relationships and sex without backlash.

Meet Bettye

When it comes to the life of college students, many factors contribute to their college experience. Academia, partying, independence and human relations are but a handful of these factors, but in this special column of The Battalion, relationships are at the forefront. Although seemingly insignificant, relationships with partners, friends and the self are important in terms of building character during this part of adulthood. See this column not only as an advice column for your relationship needs, but a voice that shares the same experiences as you. 

 

Bettye, on breakups

Valentine’s Day is coming up and you just broke up with your most recent partner. You are not just going to post pictures of you crying with cryptic captions like ‘if you know, you know’ and “no one hit me up.” No. You are in college now. You are an adult. Time to act like it.

Now, they keep “drunk texting” you about how they have the craziest, most romantic plans for Feb. 14 and how they are so happy your relationship is over. It boils your blood. The person who thought your orange tabby was going to grow into a Bengal tiger has a date for Valentine’s. They already found another Aggie with standards as low as yours.

But you want to try something new: You want to be the bigger person. What does that even mean? It means you do what is right and act mature, something that the other person might not be willing to. Well, what is the point? The point is to stop letting a random ghost from your past have any influence over your life. Being the bigger person means you rise above your ex’s childish behavior and focus on bettering the quality of your life.

Now, here is how you do it. First, do not text them back unless it involves semantics about where (the garbage bin outside) to pick up the stuff they left at your place. You have no reason to spend your time and energy having a conversation with somebody you are cutting ties with. 

For this tip, you might be wondering: What if I want to be friends with my ex? Well, that depends on the kind of people you both are and how your relationship ended. You might be too unforgettable for them to be okay having a platonic relationship. Maybe they cheated on you and you do not have room for a dirty coward in your life. But what if things ended amicably (if that exists)? Regardless, you need time off from each other to make the transition from lovers to pals. Take a beat for a few months and refrain from communicating. They really do not need to know your roommate brought a campus squirrel home.

Do not forbid your mutual friends from seeing them. Do not be that person. If your little sister has a Minecraft world with your ex, do not make her burn it. Just because you are setting boundaries does not mean everyone around you has to as well. 

Another aspect of being the bigger person is being respectful in every setting. Your ex may be telling anyone who will listen that you passed out drunk on a sidewalk, however; you should not tell people he did not learn how to operate the communal laundry machines until he was qualified to get his Aggie Ring. It is so easy to set the record straight and let friends, mutual and otherwise, know that your ex is so much more incompetent than anyone notices. But being the bigger person means you forgive their petulant behavior. They just lost the best thing that was ever going to happen to them — have some pity.

Being the bigger person is tough — especially when the concept is unheard of by some people (your ex). You’re at Texas A&M. Shed that dead weight. Disassociate on the Aggie Spirit buses. Enjoy life. 

The other option is to throw caution to the wind and just key their car. Someone has to teach them a lesson.

Love, Bettye B.

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