Lately, the integrity of some long standing traditions of this University has been questioned, and I think it’s simply not fair that we have allowed school spirit to fall to this point.
In the past, tradition meant more than paying homage through procedure. It meant building identity through intimidation of other schools at football games and school spirit by unifying the student body.
Aggies used to comply with tradition simply because they had to. Junior and senior privileges were ones of power – giving upperclassmen the opportunity to affectionately pass on traditions to the “fish” through intimidation, fear and unscrupulous beatings with an axe handle.
If the student body is serious about preserving tradition, we must go back to what worked in the past. My proposition is to bring full-fledged hazing back to the Texas A&M student body. Haze everyone and take no prisoners.
The Corps sophomores make freshmen do push-ups and bear crawls all over the Quad and campus, but they get away with it because they call it “calisthenics.” Well, I have seen some out of shape Aggies around here, so implementing a campus-wide policy of ‘calisthenics’ might be an optimal solution.
We will let the lawyers handle the aftermath. In the interim, all two-percenters should pay with flesh. Today calling me a two-percenter is the equivalent of calling me a carton of milk. It won’t hurt my feelings, nor will it entice me to change my behavior.
In the past, it meant calling someone a rebel who would eventually pay for transgressions with pain. If leaving football games early meant getting pelted with raw eggs on the way out of Kyle Field, students would reconsider leaving early no matter what the score might be.
Back when hazing was pure and unadulterated, it was just khaki-clad Cadets drinking the Kool-Aid of spirit. One day, we decided that in order to enroll at this University, you no longer had to commit yourself to dressing up and playing army full-time. Then one day we also let women in, and somewhere in the middle of all of this, tradition sifted and changed.
I suppose it became improper for a cadet to discipline a non-reg, and men hitting women from behind with a boat oar probably stopped being kosher also.
If we’re going to bring this University back to an apex of campus-wide participation in tradition, and hazing is going to be our vehicle to get there, we’re going to have to put these trivial concerns aside.
First, the Corps is going to have to let the rest of us in on a little bit of their lingo. It’s not fair for everyone else to play the game when only they know the rules. If I’m going to do 110 push-ups for saying piss, elephant, dead, crouching tiger or whatever other phrases they have made up, I want to know why.
Secondly, Fish Camp has to be mandatory for all students. I didn’t go, so at my very first football game it seemed as though I had joined a cult of maroon people who didn’t like the idea of me whooping after every play. Before fish are subjected to poundings and public acts of ridicule, someone ought to properly educate them as to what is expected of all Aggies.
Third, we have to keep our hazing in perspective. It is never okay to blindfold fish and play, “Guess what’s in your mouth.” That’s abusing the privilege, but it is okay to hit them repeatedly for pulling out at inappropriate times, or at least it used to be, and that’s what tradition is all about anyway; keeping things the way they used to be.
Alright, that settles it; we’re preserving the tradition starting now. If you’ll excuse me, I think I just saw a freshman walk on the MSC grass.