In the previous four years, I’ve been threatened, thanked, yelled at and yanked off the page.
And it was the best job I ever had.
To those who said nice things about my columns – thank you for your kind words.
To those who said less than nice things – thanks for the laughs.
To be perfectly honest, I was glad to see people show an interest in The Battalion. I hope all you mail-callers demand the same accountability from national and local news outlets in the future.
In four years of opinion writing I told a few jokes, poking fun at everything from funeral strippers to obese animals. Hopefully, I also made Aggies think about serious issues, like constitutional rights and problems with our politically correct universe.
I even used The Battalion as a forum to come out as a straight man during Coming Out Week. It was a moment I will cherish forever.
I learned a lot about myself by writing at The Battalion for four years. For example, I had no idea that I was a pawn of Fox News until I received mail call about my columns. Thank you to all those who informed me. (I’d actually never watched the Fox News Channel when I was first accused of that.)
I’ve been threatened to be beaten with a rubber hose, told I was on crack and applauded for my “daring approach to journalism,” all in regard to one column. I’ll miss the comments questioning my sobriety the most.
I recommended Willy Nelson for University president, poked fun at Vladimir Putin and documented at least one case of panda pornography – and got paid to do it.
I’ve done my best to be the scourge of the liberal mindset and maintain a shred of common sense in a time that sees responsible citizens persecuted and an attempt at the complete degradation of moral values. I tried to raise the alarm for Aggies that their country is being run by idiots like Nancy Pelosi and Pete Stark, who do things like call immigration laws unconstitutional and curse out Iraq veterans who dare to disagree with them.
Albert Einstein once said: “All of us who are concerned for peace and triumph of reason and justice must be keenly aware how small an influence reason and honest good will exert upon events in the political field.” Sadly, this has never been more true than today.
A few parting pieces of advice by an unknown author: “George Washington is the only president who didn’t blame the previous administration for his troubles.”
Practice reading some satire. Way too many Aggies took me seriously when I proposed mounting a giant beer bong on the College Station water tower.
If you don’t like what’s happening on campus, do something about it or stop whining.
Speak your mind at all costs; the day someone makes you afraid to voice your beliefs is the day they no longer matter.
Don’t forget to use a little common sense every now and then.
I’ve had a lot of fun the last four years, so thanks for reading. Stay classy College Station.