Some argue that war, politics, arts, sports, science, mathematics and just about any other achievement of man happened as a direct result of trying to impress chicks.
Some guys even go so far as to pick up female-oriented literature. Reading Cosmo and watching Lifetime are just a couple of extremes guys have tried to get inside women’s heads. Some even go so far as to just strike out on their own to figure it out.
Greg Behrendt, comedian and writer for “Sex in the City,” teamed up with the show’s story editor Liz Tuccillo to write an episode entitled “He’s Just Not That into You.” They have parlayed the episode into a New York Times best-selling book of the same title.
The book is written in the form of letters from women to Behrendt who have problems with their boyfriends or acquaintances.
With chapter titles such as “He’s just not that into you if he breaks up with you” and “He’s just not that into you if he cheats on you,” there are certainly many statements in the book that may appear simple from a guy’s standpoint.
“Women have a support system already in place (with their friends) but this is fresh and different because it’s coming from a guy,” said senior industrial distribution major Lynda Nguyen.
“I’d consider his opinion because he is a guy who’s willing to explain how guys are, but you can’t generalize everything. Some guys just don’t like talking on the phone, ” Nguyen said, referring to a chapter titled “He’s just not into you if he’s not calling you.”
With other literature available to women detailing ways to figure out what a guy is thinking, the book raises the assumption that maybe they’re just trying too hard.
“I don’t think men are as complicated as women make them out to be,” Nguyen said. “Sometimes (women) just read too much into things.”
Behrendt, who does not appear to have any sort of professional training or schooling in the matter, responds to each “letter-writer” with the same resounding answer: he’s just not that into her.
Senior chemistry major Laurel Hansen said you can’t paint all guys and all situations with the same brush.
“I don’t think it’s that black and white,” Hansen said. “Things get in the way (of a relationship working out).”
Senior agricultural journalism major Teri Reed said there definitely can be extenuating circumstances for a man to not display interest: the unwritten rule, for example, dictating a guy should wait at least three days after getting a girl’s phone number before he calls her.
“I think that’s stupid, that’s just my experience,” Reed said. “If they call first thing the next morning, though, that’s a little too much.”
In the age of communications, Behrendt explains, you really have to try not to call someone. With cell phones, messaging programs, e-mail and voice mail, there is simply no excuse for a guy not to call if he’s even slightly interested.
“I just don’t worry about it and move on,” Hansen said. “If he forgets, he’s just not that into me. If he doesn’t like talking on the phone, why ask me for my number?”
A dissenting opinion comes from senior mechanical engineering major Brian Johnson.
“Being a real busy person like me, there are times when a guy just forgets,” Johnson said. Regardless of your priorities, you find time when you can make it.”
Behrendt asserts that “He’s been really busy” excuses are bunk.
“The word ‘busy’ is the relationship Weapon of Mass Destruction,” Behrendt wrote. “It seems like a good excuse, but in fact, in every silo you uncover, you’re all going to find a man who didn’t care enough to call. Remember: Men are never too busy to get what they want.”
Reed said the confidence-instilling, you-deserve-only-the-best message toward women of “He’s Just Not That Into You” is positive.
“Even though it’s sad, a lot of women need that boost,” Reed said. “With the high standards set by the media, you can’t be perfect.”
Nguyen agrees that many women, especially in college, can have self-image problems.
“The problem is, you might not want to think your guy has the problem,” Nguyen said. “Then you turn it in on yourself; self-confidence is a problem for some women. Women tend to beat themselves up.”
But the book is for entertainment value more than for anything else. There’s even a section (toward the back) detailing exactly why you shouldn’t take it too seriously.
“If it were funny, I’d read it to laugh, not necessarily for relationship advice,” Hansen said. “I mean, he got married, so he went right at some point. But I wouldn’t take it like the Bible of relationships.”