Dear Sen. Clinton,
I wanted things to be different. Really, I did. I wanted so badly to like you. I was willing to forgive you for voting for the war that is bankrupting our country. I was even ready to overlook that time you went on a rampage against “Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas.” You’re the first female presidential candidate with a chance at making it to the White House, something I’ve been waiting 21 years to see. Unfortunately, today’s just not the day. Neither is Nov. 4. Senator, your historic bid for the presidency has been a staggering disappointment. You’ve misrepresented yourself – your strongest selling point has been a dishonest charade. You’ve resorted to some of the most desperate political maneuvering I have ever witnessed. I’m afraid to ask: what is next?
In America, there are rules that govern elections, especially political primaries. If a state political party decides to defy the national chapter and hold their primary out of turn, that’s breaking the rules. It’s difficult to feel sorry for party leaders who were repeatedly warned there would be consequences, but I’m sad for the electorate. We all wept for Michigan and Florida. You and the other candidates agreed not to campaign there, and the Democratic party moved on. But now it’s crunch time and you’re trailing by more than 100 delegates.
But you’re not power hungry and willing to try anything to win. No, you’re genuinely concerned about the voters having their voices heard. So, the fair thing to do, naturally, is to distribute delegate votes that those states aren’t supposed to have based on the results of the elections – though you ran uncontested in Michigan – or, to just start over at an estimated cost of $10-$25 million. Obviously you need this election, but not everyone is so eager to rush into something so complicated, and you have taken advantage of the opportunity to make your opponent look like he’s thwarting an election. You repeatedly challenge Barack Obama to address the situation as if the decision for a redo is his to make, as if he’s somehow responsible for the disenfranchisement of the voters. Giving people the impression that Obama is trying to keep them from voting? Shameless.
After the Bush victory in 2000, you advocated the abolition of the electoral college. In a democracy, you argued, the people’s will should be respected. “I hope no one is ever in doubt again about whether their vote counts,” you said so sincerely. Naturally, a champion of direct election like yourself must be opposed to superdelegates. Oh wait. Well, when your only chance at winning is through the subversion of the popular vote, you have to just shove any value democracy once held for you to the back of your mind. You have more important things to worry about than morality, like what color drapes would look good in the Oval Office.
You’ve been in the Senate only slightly longer than Obama, but if you consider his work back home in Illinois, he’s actually held an elected office longer than you have. But I’m forgetting those eight years as first lady that made you an expert on foreign policy and international conflict mediation. I have to say, though, it seems rather dubious to consider eight years in an unelected, unappointed position as qualifying experience. The assertion that being married to the commander in chief makes one more suitable for the office is about as convincing as my doctor’s husband insisting that he’s qualified to perform surgery because he’s married to a medical professional. It doesn’t follow.
Using scare tactics that you won’t be above condemning later, you sold Texas on the idea that if there’s a crisis at 3 a.m., you’re ready. You know diplomats. But when people start checking into these fascinating stories of your contributions to the world as first lady, they don’t measure up. As it turns out, that typically happens with lies. You didn’t contribute to the peace deal in Northern Ireland, you didn’t help with the ethnic conflict in the Balkans and the National Archives has nothing to support your claim that you were integral in getting the Family and Medical Leave Act written. Finally, to misspeak about a formal visit to Bosnia where you were never in danger would be to forget a minor detail, like which year it was. For example: “Did I say 1995? Oops, it was 1996.” Misspeaking is not fabricating an exciting story where you, in all your first lady battle-preparedness, had to dodge sniper fire. That is a lie.
You’ve dug yourself a deep hole. It’s going to be a long week. I hope someone in your campaign has more pictures of Obama in Muslim garb to leak. Maybe if you’re lucky, you can just keep reminding people that Rev. Jeremiah Wright yells a lot and is scary. Or, start a rumor that Obama not only doesn’t want the people of Florida to be able to vote ever again, he wants to ship them off to work camps. Slightly more extreme than usual for you, but desperate times call for desperate measures.
Thanks for the memories, Amanda
Amanda Kiser is a senior sociology major.