Somewhere near the Red River, where the Lonestar State meets up with the Sooner State, the Big 12 Conference should build an anger management/grieving center for football fans.
After a 38-7 rout of Texas A&M by the University of Tennessee at the Cotton Bowl, a disappointing 33-7 Oklahoma State loss to Ohio State at the Alamo Bowl and the 55-19 debacle that the University of Oklahoma experienced against the University of Southern California at the Orange Bowl, television sales most likely went through the roof as fans had to replace their old ones: I actually went Office Space on mine from hearing the Oklahoma fight song one too many times during the Orange Bowl. All three teams are probably more embarrassed than Ashlee Simpson and Dan Rather combined.
But alas, there are more sports than just football in College Station, so there are always some events to be excited about. And since Christmas-related items always seem to put most people in a good mood, I figured a little Christmas classic with a twist would help shed light on the good things to come (Clement Clarke Moore is probably rolling in his grave right now.)
‘Twas the night before New Year’s, and all through Dallas,
Nearly every Aggie was stirring, especially those who were soused.
By 2 a.m., the 12th Man were all snug in their beds,
While visions of the Cotton Bowl trophy danced in their heads.
But the next day wasn’t at all pleasant, it wasn’t so grand,
The only maroon team that won was the band.
So away to College Station the Aggies drove like a flash,
Because there were many a person to blame and bash.
Old man Byrne knew he better do something quick,
To make all the Aggie fans feel not so sick.
The solution was easy because the spring semester was near,
And Byrne knew the Aggies had a lot of teams that were feared.
So from behind his old oak desk Byrne called his coaches by their names,
To tell them to prepare their teams for the upcoming games.
Now Johnson! Now Rawson!
Now Henry and Gillispie!
On Holmes! On Evans!
On Cass, Bultman and Blair!
Leo Goertz and his grounds crew swept the dry leaves from the grounds,
And soon the spring air was filled with many athletic sounds.
Blair and Gillispie were the first to lead their groups,
Winning many games in the sport fans call “hoops.”
The other coaches wouldn’t be too far behind,
Getting into action just after the students got back for the daily grind.
Byrne’s eyes twinkled and his smile grew,
Because he knew the many people that were angry with the football loss would soon be few.
With a flash Byrne jumped into Gates’ golf cart,
To go see the A&M vs. Oklahoma basketball game start.
And away he drove, shouting these things into the night:
Gig ’em Aggies, beat the hell outta t.u. and farmers fight!