Substance use is incredibly unhealthy for our bodies. But we are a sinful species, and we fall into the usage of things like nicotine to cope with our daily lives. 

Let’s look at the different options we can use to help with this. 

We have marijuana, cigarettes and alcohol, hard substances like cocaine and heroin and hallucinogens like LSD and molly. These are some of the top-tier substances that you can corrupt your bodily systems with. 

But if you’re looking for something that’s missing from this list, I can read your mind — and it’s not on there for a purpose. 

Vaping is the most uncool form of substance use to ever exist. 

Smoking a cigarette looks cinematic; the drag is unmatched. Shotgunning a beer or having a glass of wine is pure eye candy. Even doing a line of cocaine — which I don’t condone the use of under any circumstance — is fascinating to look at. 

But sucking out of something that looks like a kazoo doesn’t look cool. You look dumb. 

If you’re using nicotine, I want to smell the nicotine to know that you’re using it, like how one does with a cigarette or a cigar. But what I don’t want to smell is watermelon or strawberry in the air. Are you a child? Oh, let me feed you cocaine with a spoon since you’re too much of a baby to take it up the nose. Do I need to cut up your edible into little pieces too?

Welcome to the real world!

Stop trying to mask your addictions into cute little flavors that everyone will love. At the end of the day, you’re still addicted to nicotine. Smoking your Geek Bar and blowing out different flavored airs isn’t going to cure that or make you any better than people who smoke cigarettes or drink alcohol. It isn’t attractive — at least compared to other forms of substance use — and you really need to stop. 

To the people who vape, I ask you one question: Do you feel cool? Because you don’t look cool; you look very stupid when you vape. 

If you’re in college hitting a blinker, go back to middle school. Grow the hell up and move on to the greater poisons this world has to offer. Let’s leave the flavored air behind. 

Joshua Abraham is a kinesiology junior and opinion writer for The Battalion.