Why does having a girlfriend feel “woke?” 

On Texas A&M’s campus, there has been a shift in the dating tendencies of our most eligible bachelorettes, choosing to “love themselves” first and forgo dating our best and brightest Aggie gentlemen. 

Why is this happening? Apparently, women now feel as though they don’t need a man in their lives for fulfillment. All they need is a job, a house and food to keep themselves happy. 

In an Instagram post made by pop culture studies junior Regina George, she complained about her many failed and lame relationships, saying, “It’s embarrassing to have a boyfriend here. Dating is dead at Texas A&M, and I am SO over it.” She even made the claim that dating men was actually embarrassing. 

Maybe if Regina put a little bit more effort into her relationship, she wouldn’t be forced to make such posts. If anything, having a girlfriend is actually embarrassing. 

Women have stopped centering their entire lives around relationships, and that is shameful for us guys. Nothing makes me happier than when I am referred to as the most important person in someone else’s life. I work out, play video games and look pretty for all of the special ladies out there. Basically, I provide everything that they need to survive.

The standards women have for men are too high, and our standards as men are way too low. Just look at all the girls wearing scandalous costumes for Halloween and not respecting their future husbands. The only thing scarier than a girl in a black cat costume is the attention she is getting from men who aren’t me. 

So what can we men do to make sure we regain the attention of women and become their outlet for everything in their lives?

The first thing is that we should be present for them in all aspects of their lives. Do they have a birthday coming up? Make sure to be there and make yourself the gift. She doesn’t need that fancy purse, but she does need the reward of your charming personality and your good looks. 

You should also be making every moment about you. If you are at her college graduation, talk nonstop about missing your favorite team’s basketball game. At your wedding, tell your bride how pretty she is, but also how she would look so much hotter in a better-looking dress. If you are at the hospital while she is in pain birthing your child, complain about how exhausted you are. 

I’m confident that if you say any of these things to the girl in your life, she would appreciate your honesty and be grateful for her amazing partner.

Also, our girls should be proudly posting us online. 

There has been this growing trend for girls to soft launch their boyfriends by posting a demure photo of our hands intertwined or the image of us getting coffee, but only making it apparent if you see there are two cups. 

My ex-girlfriend said she wouldn’t post any photos of me because she didn’t want her followers to know she was dating a man as wonderful as I. Apparently, her friends were jealous of my dashingly good looks and couldn’t bear to see such a happy couple. I wonder why we broke up.

Our women should be proud of our relationships and show off our faces fully. As professional woman appreciator and kickboxing legend Andrew Tate once said, “You cannot be responsible for a dog if it doesn’t obey you, or a child if it doesn’t obey you or a woman that doesn’t obey you.” 

Yes, he actually said this. To be honest, I don’t know what that has to do with Instagram photos, but I do like to hear Andrew Tate speak. 

We men should be more comfortable with speaking our minds. For hundreds of years, we have been oppressed by the women in our lives and made to feel less than. We men understand women and their many complicated needs, and we can provide for them. 

Boyfriends aren’t embarrassing; it’s the girlfriends who think men are good for nothing that are. Be the Kanye West to your girlfriend’s Kim Kardashian and prove for once that men are truly worth it.

Wyatt Pickering is a business honors and finance junior and opinion columnist for The Battalion.