She just got dropped off at her apartment, a successful fourth date with her most recent “swipe right.” That is, until her phone buzzes with the dreaded text: “You’re great, but I’m just not ready for a relationship right now.” This is the dating reality for many Aggies.
Psychology senior Olivia Altman is a dating app user of Tinder, Hinge, Bumble and even Cuffed. She has been involved in Omega Phi Alpha since Spring 2023, an orientation leader for New Student Conference and is currently in her second year of peer mentoring for first-generation students. Altman is involved in several corners of campus life, but she still hasn’t had the best college dating experience.
Dating in college can be as easy as breathing or like trying to find a needle in a haystack. Some students find a fellow Aggie, and everything falls into place — the perfect movie moment.
Others, however, struggle to distinguish between an individual’s intentions, wants and needs. Students like Altman who find themselves active in campus life, Greek life, on-campus jobs and even dating apps — yet still struggling to find their footing in romance — explained their frustrations with dating in college.
“Honestly, it really does kind of suck,” Altman said. “It’s such a big campus, but I feel like it’s still so hard to meet people like that. … I feel like it was easier to talk to people freshman year because it was a more exciting time, but now it seems so much harder.”
When it comes to dating apps, a survey published by the University of South Carolina found that out of 43 female participants, 20 reported using a dating app, while out of 26 males, 25 reported using a dating app. Despite more women participating in the survey, there was a staggering difference in consensus between the men and women.
Psychology sophomore Laura Johnston recently departed from dating apps, but previously used Tinder, Hinge and Cuffed. For Johnston, the standards have changed. She said she’s tired of the same combination of routines and excuses that come with dating apps.
“It’s so bad to the point that girls who get taken on dates act like that is such a green flag, when it is the bare minimum,” Johnston said. “ … I feel like if you’re not looking for a serious relationship, you’re not looking for one at all, you’re just looking for a hookup. ”
Johnston occasionally visits Northgate, where she relayed similar stories of organic meetings ultimately ending in disappointment. However, these instances are not isolated as she had similar testimonies when talking about dating within Greek life.
“I don’t think the orgs or Greek life help, but I don’t think it hurts either,” Altman said. “It just depends on the org you’re socializing with. … I do think a lot of people who go to parties, for those orgs, they have one objective, and it’s not dating.”
Sororities and women’s organizations are known to do “crush” or “date” parties, where members bring someone of interest to the gathering. Altman and Johnston both said they’ve seen profiles on the app explicitly mentioning “needing a date” to some of those parties.
“Greek life hinders dating because everyone has date parties and crush parties,” Johnston said. “When they just have to find a date super quickly, they don’t look for a genuine connection; they just find the closest guy or girl.”
Altman and Johnston both report that on social media there are numerous complaints about “hook-up culture” and bad dates stemming from various apps. When asked about whether they’ve had dating apps for “casual encounters,” the USC survey found that 55% of women did, compared to 80% of men.
“Social media was the original killer of an actual dating culture,” electrical systems engineering technology junior Dylan Wilder said. “I’d argue that there isn’t a dating culture at A&M, there’s hook-up culture, and that’s all you have.”
Wilder has never been on dating apps, but has been around campus and participated in the dating scene in his earlier years. By joining some special-interest clubs and having an on-campus job, he said he’s made more genuine friendships and connections than an app could otherwise facilitate.
“I think men and women’s orgs, Greek life on campus, I don’t think those help at all,” Wilder said. “I would say other orgs, ones that you join for fun, for special interests, help because you can actually meet someone there and make more connections.”
Altman, Johnston and Wilder all said that college dating can be challenging, and social organizations can help you get out there and make the most of your college experience. Putting yourself out there and being your authentic self, they think, is the best way to build a relationship.
“I initially downloaded them when I had just broken up with my ex, I thought it would be fun to just swipe and see if people would match with me,” Johnston said, “I deleted them all because I was just thinking, I don’t want to tell my future kids, ‘Oh, I met your father on Tinder.’ No, I didn’t want that.”
