The movie theater is a sacred place for me. 

I started going during the peak of COVID-19; my mother was in the hospital, and I needed a break — anything to take my mind off her and everything going on. It was me, by myself in the theater, alone with no one else in view. 

In a time where we were all isolated, I never felt more free. Watching films and engaging with them alone was a special experience, one I will never forget.

Fast forward five years, and even though my mom recovered from her illness, I never stopped going to the movies. It became a ritual for me to indulge in a film every week, to spend time by myself and allow my soul to connect with the magic on screen. 

I go to the movies with other people, too. Sometimes, it’s nice to have them alongside you, but it’s also nice to have the freedom of being alone.

But not everyone agrees. 

Ever since high school, friends and classmates have asked me what my weekend plans are. I usually respond by saying, “I’m going to the movies,” per usual. The next sentence that always comes out of their mouth is, “Who are you going with?”

This is so irritating. When did going to the movies require people to go with you? I understand the cinema is supposed to be a “communal experience,” but there’s nothing wrong with being by yourself. When I explain that I’m going alone, I always get a weird look like I should be locked up in a mental asylum. 

Going anywhere by yourself is cool, and anyone who tells you otherwise just hates themselves. 

I went to a restaurant alone recently, and I was very nervous. Thinking about sitting down in silence while being surrounded by everyone else talking to other people made me think negatively — like I didn’t belong, or that everyone who had someone to sit with was better than me. 

But all I had to do was walk through the door. 

I sat down, ordered my food and appreciated myself. I was thankful for getting to sit with my own thoughts. I watched a YouTube video, got my food and ate to my delight. 

I was once scared to eat alone. But not anymore.

You see, there’s a secret that I’ve found out: No one cares. As much as you think people are looking at what you do, absolutely no one is. 

We shouldn’t expect people to do things with us — why should you rely on the company of others? Seeking outside validation is unhealthy, especially when it determines your happiness. Just because your friend doesn’t want to do something with you doesn’t mean you’re a failure.

Forget them! If you want to do something, nothing should stop you from doing it. Cherishing the time that you spend with yourself is more important than time spent with others. Affirm your own happiness, not others’. 

If we aren’t even able to love ourselves, how can we possibly love others? 

Whenever I see my friends in relationships and pitch this idea of going to places alone, they become defensive. They can’t go anywhere without their partner, and that’s concerning. 

Signs of a healthy relationship include independence. Being strong separately is as important as being strong together. What happens when you lose yourself completely because you’ve become too codependent on your partner? That’s a reality I don’t want to live in.  

Instead, focus on loving yourself and doing what you want to do. 

Go to a local coffee shop and get some solo work done. Eat at a restaurant and have the delightful company of yourself — and maybe a book. Grab your headphones and do some independent grocery shopping. The freedom you’ll experience is unmatched. Not having to worry about other people is a true gift that is given to us if we choose to use it thoughtfully.

I plan on taking a solo trip backpacking after graduation. I’m not doing this because I have no one to do it with; I’m going on this journey because I love myself and want to grow in that love. I’m sure that my friends would love to come with me, but I’m doing this for myself, not them. 

We only have one life, and we can’t be waiting for others to experience it with us. Explore this God-given world alone, you won’t regret it. 

Joshua Abraham is a kinesiology junior and opinion writer for The Battalion.