Dear ladies of Texas A&M: Besides getting accepted into your desired major and becoming a full-time student, the greatest pleasures known to womankind come from latching onto a man, locking him down and making him a suitable husband.

Thus, whirling around in my inherently effeminate and, therefore, irrational imagination, I couldn’t help but wonder what kind of eligible bachelor our campus has to offer. I suspect we all know the answer to this one: Yes, ladies — engineering majors. 

Let’s get real about your biological clock; it never hurts to have a plan. Entering the forays of college dating can be scary, but these are tried and true ways to become an engineer’s perfect match:

Always acknowledge how difficult his major is 

It’s a really tough time to be a man in this world, especially one as gifted and talented as our Aggie engineers. By now, you’ve probably overheard them in passing groaning about ETAM and are feeling pricks of sympathy. This is the perfect time to vocalize them.

Why he’ll melt: An engineering man wants to be validated as the most valuable, deserving and intelligent student gracing this campus. Acknowledge this, and you’ll save yourself time from going back and forth on why your liberal arts degree matters. Keep it simple, and he won’t have to feel embarrassed about the fact that he can’t come up with anything good to say for anyone outside of STEM.

Make yourself available to his schedule 

Sooner or later, ladies, you’ll realize that an engineering man doesn’t have a lot of time to offer. He’ll often be stuck in Evans Library or the Zachry Engineering Education Complex. An engineering man needs a break from the monotony of study, so taking the initiative to live according to his schedule will surely make him appreciate your efforts.

They are not used to being around women, so be patient 

Good news: He’s surrounded by men. Bad news: He’s surrounded by men.

Since around 22% of A&M engineering students are female, our eligible bachelor is typically not apt at interacting with women, meaning it’s naturally a woman’s responsibility to be proactive. Being the one to communicate first, organize dates and initiate conversation is a typical rite of passage that takes time to master.

Ignore his MAGA-veiled politics 

Fifty-eight percent of Gen Z men voted for President Donald Trump, according to a post election survey. Needless to say, at least half of the time, you will meet an engineering man who either supports or tolerates MAGA politics. Though it’s great to have personal values, what kind of values will exist if you’re unable to create a family to carry those beliefs across generations? The choice is simple.

A rookie mistake: The reality is, giving him the benefit of the doubt regarding his questionable beliefs will ensure that you are kept in his personal orbit as the “woman who is not like the others.” And even if you are keenly aware of how disconnected he is, engaging apolitically with others is not a moral failure. It’s simply a womanly virtue.

Sidney Uy is a philosophy junior and opinion columnist for The Battalion.