I gave up on people liking me a long time ago — and I’ve been able to smile again. I curse more, too.

Easy days and solitude have been on my mind since three bad breakups, two situationships, one rejection from a school organization I thought I had in the bag and quitting my miserable job as a server.

Yet life has never been sweeter since then, and I’m indebted to one decision I made not too long ago: not saving face. 

Saving face, or compromising for others’ sake, had always been the center of my world — my yearning for connection, my craving for approval and my justification for overworking.

But when I decided to stop, I didn’t need to hop on WikiHow or indulge in overhyped podcasts to make myself feel more genuine. I just disengaged — and I’ve got news for you. 

At the core, I’ve stopped trying to be pleasant all the time because it’s impossible. 

I’m no longer a victim of the guys who think scrolling through their camera rolls is a good date. I’ve left the cage — the confines of having to meet their softly spoken expectations of being in “awe” of them, so as to avoid going through the great, unpleasant lengths of announcing their own greatness. Now, I just simply try to be. 

As a reformed people pleaser myself, I want to share some tips from those caught up in the same cycle so we can get through this hump together. 

Start unfollowing people.

I know this sounds tough, but who actually cares? Unfollow the girls you compare yourself to way too many times. We’ve all been through it — being beautiful is exhausting. 

I blocked out people lurking on social media — like random guys who only like my selfies and end up sending me crying-laughing emojis for some reason. It’s worse when it’s the purple devil ones, too. 

I felt liberated just shutting the gates and turning off my digital avatar, effectively bleaching my eyes from social media.

And if you really feel like it, take a detox from the social media world and cleanse yourself of garbage political takes, the mass influx of misinformation and the general facade of internetdom. 

Focusing more on my hobbies, getting interested in my major and having late-night talks with a couple of friends was all I needed to feel refreshed.

Start valuing your own time. 

Now that you can focus on yourself, it’s crucial that you start treating your time as important as you would treat everyone else’s — your friends, professors and managers.

Make a calendar of your work schedule and all the assignments you need to complete. After that, reserve a good chunk of time from the amount you work that is dedicated to just you. 

Most of the school day, I’m working on my thesis, preparing material for a tutoring session and getting my ducks in a row for a lecture. 

But recently with the block of time I’ve reserved, away from the constant inflow of emails and endless worrying about the impressions I make, I’ve turned off the anxiety of not being tapped in all the time. 

I’ve put time towards getting more sleep, catching up with loved ones and making sure that I don’t only allow myself to have some free time on annual vacations.

Start constructing boundaries. 

Now that you’re able to separate your work and personal life, it’s time to assert your boundaries. 

Take steps to speak up when someone is giving you a hard time. Start taking matters into your own hands and get it across to people that you are worth every ounce of attention, time and value you impart to them. You grace their presence. 

I’ve experienced what I would call “rock bottom,” and now I’m slowly unanchoring myself from the silent, deafening floors of the ocean — letting go of the incessant need to conform. 

I don’t email my professors with exclamation marks at the end of each sentence.  I’ve stopped trying to overcompensate in group projects. I’ve tuned out men when they start yapping about why their type of engineering degree is the hardest.

I just get up and go home or to the nearest McDonalds to call a friend and enjoy a McFlurry. 

Start training yourself to realize that what you want is better — way better than the stale breadstick of a guy who’s not even trying anyway. You are more than the stale breadstick with a bad haircut and third-grader vocabulary. 

Reforming takes time. 

I’ve fallen into the trap of giving more than getting. It takes time to rewire your brain to center your own desires and tastes. 

We should imagine ourselves living a spontaneous, fantastic life surrounded by caring people. That’s maturity.

Is that that too much to ask for? No, but we’ve been told otherwise. We’ve been told to save face all our lives.

It’s time to get clear on what you need and what will be healthy for you in terms of finding your peace of mind — away from the judgemental and the indifferent. 

That way, we can help each other realize that people shouldn’t like you because of your expert masking, but because the imperfections are worth taking time to really know and cherish.

Sidney Uy is a dual philosophy & sociology sophomore and opinion writer for The Battalion.