Welcome to The Battalion’s opinion section! On behalf of all of us here on the opinion desk, we’re excited to have you.

If you’re familiar with the opinion sections of most other newspapers, student or otherwise, then let’s just say you probably wouldn’t be here reading this. Too often, their stories range from political to political-adjacent without a unique twist or voice. The titles are long, the subjects are overdone and a brief perusal of the text itself reveals articles about as engrossing as a Tolstoy novel (sorry Russian majors.)

We here at The Battalion don’t ascribe to the media’s cherished belief that opinion articles are supposed to be bland news with a bias. You could say we’re self-aware — we know that most people aren’t interested in reading a 20-year-old’s political opinions that are no different than a typical Washington Post op-ed. Unless you happen to be a poli-sci major, of course.

So, what do we do? Well, being the opinion desk, we’re in the business of writing opinions. Any and all opinions, as relevant or irrelevant as you can imagine. Sure, we have some articles featuring politics or national headlines, but they don’t read like a standard news article. And more importantly, we know how to have fun and write things you wouldn’t expect to see in a student paper.

If you’re new to us here at The Batt opinion section, how about trying some of these articles on for size?

• “Gay candy or child slavery?” — regarding M&M sexuality and their parent company’s child labor allegations.

• “How ChatGPT got my mom a date” — a rare win for the controversial generative AI.

• “Worst bathrooms on campus” — a cautionary tale.

• “Something smells Fishy, Camp” — a critical look at the “inclusive” Aggie tradition.

• “Inspired by Puss” — how the newest Puss in Boots movie inspired one of our writers to try out for the Fightin’ Texas Aggie football team.

We also do satire!

• “The definitive case for the Mays business minor” — a look at the most popular (and most poorly run) minor.

• “A&M to outsource academic advising to ChatGPT” — it might work better this way!

• “It’s time to get rid of Aggie football” — The ramblings of a battered Aggie. A cry for help? I’ll let you decide.

Now, that being said, we do write about critical campus politics and controversies. For example, the April 2022 kidnapping of the Texas-shaped waffle irons from Sbisa Dining Hall.

Jokes aside, we also cover serious topics. Amidst the drama of the previous Texas legislative session, we published two pieces going head-to-head on the topic of public education and school choice. Columnist Ana Sofia Sloane dove into the issue of free speech on campus, and opinion writer Benjamin Barnes uncovered Chartwell’s monopolistic power on campus in his piece “A&M is pimping out students in plain sight.”

If you care about big national news, you could always read one of the mainstream publications with their facade of sophistication and ultra-seriousness. With us, you get something a little different — the musings of current students who drink unhealthy amounts of coffee and spend too much time in a dingy newsroom in the basement of the Memorial Student Center. But most importantly, students who love Aggieland enough to write about it every week — sometimes admittedly at the expense of our grade point average.

Basically, we concern ourselves with what concerns you, from campus squirrels to the Corps, which really aren’t that different if you stop to think about it. So, when you pick up a copy of The Batt — and you should, every Thursday — don’t flip past our opinion page. We write for you.

Charis Adkins is an English junior and opinion columnist for The Battalion.

Ryan Lindner is a political science senior and opinion editor for The Battalion.