Her siblings are fast asleep in their beds, but Jessica Pardede is wide awake. 

Melodies often find the English junior at unexpected moments, keeping her restless until she captures them. Lyrics have become intertwined with her thoughts from a young age — making songwriting habitual. To Jessica, crafting an album as a full-time student seemed like the only natural response. 

In the summer of 2021, Olivia Rodrigo released her first album “Sour,” which topped the charts and was one of the best-selling albums that year. Exploring themes of adolescent love, heartbreak and jealousy, the album served as an important piece to young adults across the country. To Jessica Pardede, “Sour” inspired her to step outside her comfort zone and share her music with the world. 

“She’s very shy, reserved,” said biology senior Gwyneth Pardede, Jessica’s sister. “That’s always just been her from a very young age. So her starting to put out music — that was actually shocking to me. The first time she was just like, ‘Gwen can you listen to my voice memo?’ I was like, ‘Voice memo?’ and then she played it for me. And I was like, this is so good, not even from a biased like, ‘You’re my sister. I’m gonna like it.’”

Eva and Gerry Pardede raised their children with a love for music. Eva taught her kids how to play piano and enrolled them in lessons from an early age. Their father, Gerry, taught them chords on his guitar, beats on drums and tips for singing. Despite all of the Pardede children being musically inclined, it was clear Jessica had a gift. 

“Gwen didn’t learn how to harmonize until high school, but Jessica learned in elementary school,” Eva said. “ … She was maybe in first grade or second grade …. She’s the first one in the family, the youngest one in the family, to know how to harmonize.” 

While Jessica’s love for music began at home, she didn’t seriously pursue her talent until her last years of high school, singing in her church’s praise band and high school choir. She continued to write songs as well because that never seemed to be a choice for her. 

“Songwriting happens when it’s most inconvenient for me,” Jessica said. “So if I’m walking down the street and a car passes by me, I’ll be like, ‘I’m thinking of something right now, and I need to write it down as soon as possible.’ And so I’ll get out my phone or record my own voice singing a melody that came to my head. Or I’ll write it down on a piece of paper during class. But songs never come to me when I’m sitting down and I want to write a song. So I think that’s the most difficult part of songwriting. But at the same time, I think the inconveniences make the song sound more vulnerable… I’m not just actively sitting down, getting out a piece of paper and being like, ‘I need to write a song.’ I think I like the spontaneity of it.”

The songs Jessica recorded wouldn’t see the light of day until after she was moved by Rodrigo’s album and its raw honesty in the summer of 2021. Feeling ready to share her progress, she played her voice memos to her family, who offered their full support.

“We have to beg, basically,” Eva said. “‘Please, please. We just want to listen to one song.’ And so after that, she got comfortable because everyone in the family says, ‘We love it. We love it. Jess, can we get another one? Can we listen to another one?’ And then I think that’s what makes her think then, ‘Okay, so I guess it’s good.’”

With her family’s encouragement and her own newfound confidence, Jessica released her debut album “it’s my birthday” on Aug. 2, 2023. Its title, though cheerful, contrasts with the themes of heartache and yearning covered within the 10 tracks. 

“I’m thinking of all of the things that have happened to me throughout my life, and usually, my birthdays are really sad for me,” Jessica said. “I’ve never felt like there’s never been a birthday where I haven’t been crying. … I associate my birthday with abandonment and yearning and stuff like that. So it’s kind of sad, but I wanted it to have kind of a happy title because, I don’t know, I just wanted to mislead people to listen.”

While most of the songs on “it’s my birthday” tell stories of being wronged in relationships, Jessica antagonizes herself in the opening track titled “let me know.”

“The reason I put that first is because I wanted people to know that even though I am hurt, I am putting myself in a position to be the victim throughout the album,” Jessica said. “It’s kind of like my own actions that led to it. I didn’t take precautions when dealing with some people or dealing with an issue. It’s just an opening of ‘I did this to myself’ really.”

Jessica takes full control of her music production, managing every detail herself and often starting with raw recordings captured on her phone. Her songwriting process is a blend of spontaneity and experimentation. While some lyrics come to her in moments of inspiration, the instrumental sounds emerge through a patient process of trial and error until it ultimately aligns with her artistic vision. 

“I always start with a melody and lyrics, and I always pick up my guitar first,” Jessica said. “And I write all of my songs on guitar, and then I decide whether it sounds good with piano or guitar better and see which one should be the foundation. … I think the most challenging part for me is figuring out what I really want it to sound like because sometimes it’ll start off mellow and then become something that I didn’t really want it to be. So I have to restart from the beginning and re-record everything.” 

Like many singers, Jessica draws inspiration from artists around her to form her own lyrics. The heartfelt imagery achieved by singer-songwriters Rodrigo and Luke Hemmings speaks to the style she seeks to emulate.

Jessica’s latest single, “if this is love”  expands on her usual theme of unrequited love. In this single, she pushes her boundaries as a historically mellow vocalist by exploring her vulnerability with bolder vocals.

“I’m not really much of a yeller, so when I get into arguments with people, I usually just go quiet or shut down while they’re just screaming at me,” Jessica said. “So I think the reason why I decided to do those loud background vocals was because it depicts what I wanted to do. I wanted to scream and yell and just fight, but at that point, I was just tired. And I don’t usually like to come off as an angry person, especially to people who I love.”

As she continues to grow into her craft, Jessica hopes to experiment further by shifting her overall tone in her music from yearning for romantic relationships to appreciating her platonic and familial bonds. 

“I want to start writing about friendships because friendships are really huge for me in my life,” Jessica said. “They’re really important to me — and also the things that have happened to me in my friendships. And so I want to explore my friendships on a deeper level, and I also want to write about my family and explore more happier topics.”

Jessica hopes to release another single and a sophomore album soon. Meanwhile, her emotional and candid style continues to capture the hearts of her viewers on TikTok, earning her over 130,000 followers. Jessica uses platforms like TikTok to build a following by sharing raw snippets of original songs along with acoustic covers of other artists. 

“I’m very proud that she’s able to do that,” Eva said. “You know, I wish that she was more confident, but I pray that God will give her that confidence. I know how hard it is for her to even be able to let us hear the songs that she has created. So she has grown a lot since then by having the platform and sharing her music with practically the world because her listeners are from Korea, Indonesia, Germany. I mean, all over the world.”

Her audience spans far and wide, but Jessica only has one earnest wish when it comes to her listeners. 

“I really hope my music finds girls like me or people like me,” Jessica said. “Honestly, just those who tend to hide their emotions when it comes to other people but feel the most by themselves. I hope that they feel seen because I know that I’m like that, and I don’t like to tell people how I’m feeling. So I just push it all into one category. I like to put it all into music because I’m not really talking to someone. I’m talking to myself, which is an escape from everybody around me. So I hope that it will reach introverts, introverts who are not great with feelings and words.”