Sick of begging for the bare minimum? Girl, quit waiting for a man to sweep you off your feet. Take matters into your own hands!
The art of self-love is a foreign one to many — well, at least that’s what it seems when our generation tends to hyper-focus on the pursuit of finding their person or “the one.” But I disagree; I’d argue self-love is just as important — and the key to that is dating yourself.
Be comfortable with being alone. Grow closer to yourself, and take time to learn the intricacies of who you are. Learn how to embrace solitude. How can you know what you want if you don’t even know who you are?
Ask yourself the difficult questions: Do you like who you are? Are you happy? Are you self-aware of your own toxic traits? Does being by yourself scare you? Do you even know what you want out of life?
I know; the initial idea is intimidating. Going out alone and spending time with yourself can feel slightly terrifying, and, like, all eyes are on you. They’re not, I promise. Just do it. Don’t think about the perceptions because anyone who judges you is not in the position you want to be in.
Need help knowing where to start? Here’s five ways you can begin your journey of self-dating and jumpstart self-exploration.
Hang in there with me. I promise you’ll find an idea you love.
In a few weeks, you’ll not only be much more intentional when dating others — but you’ll also know exactly what to look for in others.
1. Go on new adventures
Embracing new experiences is a way to learn more about yourself. Try new cuisines or new restaurants, take a pottery class, travel to an unfamiliar place — immerse yourself in new settings and uncover the things you like and don’t like. Expand your horizons and broaden your perspective; it’ll enrich your view of yourself and the world around you.
2. Start a journal
Begin journaling. Soon enough you’ll understand yourself on an entirely deeper level. Spend quality time alone where you reflect on your thoughts and feelings. Sit in your feelings: the good, the bad and the ugly. Be honest without yourself and where you are. To maintain balance, create a gratitude section and keep track of what you’re grateful for.
3. Take a spa day
You can’t be opposed to this one. Book a massage or a facial and relax. This is literally self-care. Allow yourself to be pampered and taken care of, and afterward, your mind, body and soul will feel replenished and refreshed.
4. Pilates
Book a workout class! My personal guilty pleasure is pilates. If it helps, classes like these usually have other people who are doing the exact same thing for the exact same reason. Move your body and isolate your focus on your physical growth and strength. Take that time to decompress and forget about everything your busy schedule demands.
5. Make a vision board
Speak what you want into existence. Ask yourself what you want to achieve in the next year, and make a logical plan on how to do it. Whether it’s a digital or physical vision board, have fun with it! Plan a day, collect cute and aesthetic pictures and quotes and dive deeper into your creativity while working toward your goals.
So do yourself a favor. Stop rotting in bed, get dressed in your cutest outfit and GO OUT. Here are some local recommendations that will help you do just that:
Visit Polite Coffee: Go grab a cup of iced coffee and your favorite novel.
Take a stroll in Aggie Park: Take advantage of the nature around us. Become in tune with your body and mind, and enjoy the scenic sights A&M offers. I recommend going during sunset and taking in the serenity of the park. Maybe grab a bite of ice cream while you’re there!
Conduct some retail therapy: A little shopping never hurt anybody. Create a budget and go treat yourself to a few new clothes, house essentials or makeup goodies. HomeGoods and Target will always be my personal favorites.
Grab a cocktail: Take yourself out and treat yourself to a glass of wine or a cocktail. Messina Hof Winery, an award-winning local winery, has the perfect setting and ambiance that’ll let you bask in this experience of self-discovery — all while enjoying a nice glass of wine.
After all, how can you learn how to love another without first learning to love yourself?
