Winner: Ryan “Youngest Bossman” Williams

I still remember what I was doing  when I was 17 years old: Enjoying my last year of high school, playing Fortnite  smacking on McChickens daily. Five years later, I’m now writing about the youngest bossman I’ve seen in college football: Alabama’s 17-year-old true freshman wide receiver, Ryan Williams.

This kid has put himself on the map, and it all started in his first-ever college football game against Western Kentucky where he amassed 139 yards on two receptions — and I forgot to mention, both were touchdowns. Three weeks later, he topped that performance with a career-defining one.

With all eyes on Bryant-Denny Stadium as No. 4 Georgia came into town, Williams shined in the spotlight on Alabama’s last drive. He already had crazy jukes and body-adjustment catches, but his last reception and moves took the cake. I’ll just let the tape roll.

Loser: Runnin’ Rebels run out of steam

So far, the Kentucky Wildcats have been on the cusp of serving out upsets, starting with a 12-13 loss to then-No. 1 Georgia. Now, at long last, the Wildcats pounce on their first victim — and at the behest of Lane Kiffin haters, it’s No. 6 Ole Miss.

For a team that’s stacked with talent on both ends of the ball, having the best offense in the country and a top-five defense, it was only a matter of time before the Rebels ran out of steam. But losing at home to Kentucky, I’m sure, wasn’t on anyone’s bingo cards — especially after betting lines had the game line at 51.5 points and heavily favored Ole Miss as 15-point favorites.

Unfortunately for bettors and Rebels alike, it turns out that the house doesn’t always win.

Winner: UNLV’s quarterback, but not Matthew Sluka

UNLV must have been listening to Bob Seger’s “Turn the Page” non stop before its game this weekend as it beat down Mountain West conference foe Fresno State 59-14.

Coming off a week of controversy stemming from fifth-year senior starting quarterback Matthew Sluka’s redshirting and intention to transfer over broken name, image and likeness promises, backup sixth-year senior QB Hajj-Malik Williams and his four-touchdown performance made sure that not a beat was skipped offensively.

Jeremy Clarkson of Britain’s television series “Top Gear” wraps up what I am sure Williams is thinking in regard to Sluka’s departure: “Oh no! Anyways.” 

Loser: DJ Uiagalelei and Florida State’s hopes and dreams

Every good QB has an underperforming counterpart. Sporting a 1-4 record as a starter and throwing up elementary school stats, things look grim for the man who has hopped around to his third school. Or was it his fourth? Whatever. There’s a name for quarterbacks like this, but we’ll call him “DJ U.” 

The fraud allegations are hard to dodge when you throw three picks, including an 82-yard pick six. Every team needs a scapegoat when the season goes awry, and unfortunately Uiagalelei makes himself an easy target considering the way he played in last night’s 42-16 loss to the SMU Mustangs. 

I would compare the Florida State falloff from star QB Jordan Travis to Uiagalelei to the Clemson falloff from star QB Trevor Lawrence to, well … Uiagalelei. 

Winner: The U.S. Military

Time to party like it’s 1945: For the first time since World War II, both Army and Navy are 4-0 and sit first and second in the American Athletic Conference standings. 

Both longtime independents, the Midshipmen joined the AAC as a football-only member in 2015, while the Black Knights followed suit this season. And that nightmare — or dream — scenario in which the rivals meet in the AAC title game, have the winner selected for the College Football Playoff, and then meet again in the annual standalone Army-Navy game? It may just happen this season.

As someone who’s been to more Army football games than I can count on one hand, we need to see service academy football in the CFP. And it would be deeply funny to see it be the team that lost the Army-Navy Game.

Loser: Texas State’s slogan

After the conference realignment war between the Mountain West and PAC-12 has left both conferences seeking new members, all eyes have been on San Marcos as Texas State weighs its membership in the Sun Belt against other options.

But it turns out the Bobcats’ eyes should have been on Huntsville and Houston as the Sam Houston Bearkats took down Texas State 40-39 thanks to a last second field goal in a neutral site clash at NRG Stadium in Houston.

To add insult to injury, the Bearkats flexed their own apparel mocking the Bobcats’ “Take Back Texas” slogan. Turns out you have to take care of your own business before taking back a whole state.

Winner: Ashton Jeanty’s Heisman campaign

QB’s have had a stranglehold on the Heisman the past couple of seasons and that’s not set to change after Cam Ward’s and Jalen Milroe’s fantastic performances in Week 5. Combine that with Colorado junior athlete Travis Hunter’s two-way stardom that hasn’t been seen since the likes of Charles Woodson, and you’d be forgiven for not noticing a certain running back playing on Blue Turf in the Mountain West. 

However, what Boise State junior running back Ashton Jeanty has been doing is simply absurd after rushing for 259 yards and his second four-touchdown game of the season, this time against Washington State. Jeanty is currently averaging more than 10 yards per carry and has dazzled in all aspects of his game. His performance against the Cougars may have been his best yet. Jeanty fought through swarms of would-be tacklers for a 64 yard touchdown, hurdling over those who tried to go low and running his way into the Heisman conversation.

Loser: Carson Beck’s draft stock

After coming into the game as the potential top pick in the 2025 NFL Draft, redshirt senior Carson Beck walked out of Bryant-Denny Stadium with plenty of questions. One of Beck’s biggest strengths has been his ability to limit mistakes, but his four turnovers were the biggest reason the Tide held on after a furious Bulldog comeback.

His first interception was an ill advised throw under pressure, but his second was simply perplexing. Faced with only a three-man rush and having plenty of time in the pocket, Beck rifled a pass into the middle of the field right into the waiting-hands of an Alabama defender with no Georgia receiver close to the ball. 

Credit where credit’s due, Beck didn’t give up and his improved play in the second half gave the Bulldogs the lead late in the fourth quarter before the spectacular Willliams touchdown. Faced with a two-minute drill and a chance to win, Beck was able to drive Georgia down to the redzone. But, with 43 seconds left, Beck threw up a mallard that was intercepted in the endzone, sealing the Bulldog’s fate.